Beyond Lal Singh Chaddha: Year 2035 — Welcome to the Trollocracy

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Trollocracy. Some call it the anarchist’s utopia. Some would prefer the word dystopia. But everything in the universe is a matter of perception, isn’t it? In fact, it is democracy, post-modern and much closer to the original definition of the idea: of, for and by the people. In this world, people and trolls are interchangeable, as they change roles according to their convenience.

The trolls have gone far beyond the days of issuing massive boycott calls against actor Aamir Khan’s film Lal Singh Chaddha and Akshaya Kumar’s Raksha Bandhan or warning actor Vijay Sethupathi against the role of Sri Lankan spin legend Muthiah Muralitharan or threatened to rape a famous Indian cricketer’s five-year-old daughter or forced a powerful corporation to withdraw an advertisement depicting communal harmony. These were the beginnings of trolling. The virtual was not quite real yet. He had made his impressive presence, but wasn’t quite sure how to transform into something bigger.

Small experiments have been carried out on television by cunning trolls posing as journalists. They convicted the innocent, engaged in theater games to stir up the frenzy, and measured how many bystanders had taken the bait, thus ready to be enlisted for collective action in the future. Others like them patrolled social media with an invisible but ubiquitous police force armed only with venom and a vicious vocabulary. They put in order everything that was out of place. It was like a pilot project, limited in scale but high in ambition. And it was a success. The trollocracy was ready to take off. A decade and a half later, it is a reality.

Trollism took time to develop its outlines, but when it did, it was the simplest and purest of all isms that were experienced by earlier mankind. Human beings, she said, were products of feelings. Their likes and dislikes, key decisions, social behavior and interactions were guided by these. Anger, envy, hatred, inferiority complex and selfishness among others were primary feelings, as natural to people as hunger and thirst. Those such as sympathy, empathy, respect, caring, and love were pseudo-feelings instilled in people through faulty socialization and upbringing. Being true to yourself meant prioritizing and releasing the most basic emotions. The person trying to delete them was an impostor.

Trollism believed in self-expression, while other isms advocated self-control. Happiness, he believed, is proportional to the freedom of expression one enjoys. The latter is one of the fundamental principles of democracy, but it has gone astray somewhere. As the most polished version of democracy, trollism had made amends. Now people could express themselves however they wanted without worrying about the consequences. This was not limited to views, it could also take the form of physical actions. Anger or hatred, for example, can be expressed through direct acts of violence.

Since freedom without chains was central to his ideology, it was necessary for trollism to dismantle the infrastructure that imposed restraint on people. In 2035, the courts exist but their orders are not worth the paper they are written on. Any TV presenter or miscellaneous journalist – all of whom are now trolls – could tear up unacceptable court verdicts and deliver their own instead. The font exists, but it is largely ornamental. They are in tune with the feelings of the trolls and shoot people down to earn the trolls’ applause. Laws and rules are flexible to the point of non-existence now as they are subject to public approval and can be changed at any time. As a form of punishment, beheading in public places is becoming popular.

School and college education is reorganized to make the intellect an inferior human faculty. The more you study, the dumber you get and the more education means more estrangement from the masses – this was an important finding in a 2020 study that looked at the attitude of educated people, bureaucrats and technocrats in particular, towards ordinary people. The latest education policy, which just won a referendum, discourages the study of humanities and analytical thinking. Both load the brain with polemical junk and stunt the normal, feeling-oriented growth of the human mind, its proponents argue.

There is a popular demand for declaring an IQ of 70-80 as the national average intelligence. The children above would be treated as mentally disabled and cared for in special homes. All creative activities, including cinema, theater, literature, fine arts, etc., which have ceased to be creative anyway, should take into account the national IQ. The success of all these works would depend on the votes of the trolls. It follows the same referendum model that has been nationally accepted as the fairest of all models. It eliminates the role of experts. They could be obnoxious with their knowledge of the subject.

In this beautiful fair world, dissidence does not exist, neither does the other point of view. In the yes ecosystem, political leaders have lost their relevance. The political party rumored to have encouraged trolls and given trollism a boost lost the initial advantage after all their political rivals started worshiping them. It started a few years ago. The more space the politicians ceded, the more powerful the trolls became. The electoral process produced mixed results. For some reason, the lead actors in B-grade movies speaking corny dialogue are cast in droves. But that doesn’t matter now since trolls run everything from diplomacy to agricultural policy to everything imaginable.

During this time, the economy has collapsed beyond repair, neighboring countries have occupied large parts of our country’s land, and life, in general, is miserable. Yet the troll media can’t help but paint a rosy picture of the homeland, which they claim is now a global superpower, brimming with milk and honey. A presenter cites an internal survey, with a huge sample of 17 people, saying Indians are the happiest people in the galaxy. As the happy news spreads, the faces of millions of tramps on the streets – the most downgraded to status in recent years – light up with delirious joy. The great country of yesteryear has finally found its place in the sun. They take out their cell phones – the only thing they refuse to let go of apart from data service – and type words of approval. The investigation goes viral riding the thumbs-up emojis, thus becomes the truth. Most tramps are part of the troll force that runs the land.

As McDonald’s pizza ad says, they love it. Feelings and the freedom to express them without inhibition or control make it a unique experience, unprecedented in the history of humanity. Anarchist paradise or dystopia is a matter of subjective interpretation. Happiness is what matters in the end.

(The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the site)

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